OUR House!!!

The boys room

Kids bathroom

Playroom

2 sink master bathroom! Back behind me is the shower and toilet. It will be so nice to have that separate from the sink area!

Master bedroom! This is the room that I am in love with!

I love this kitchen

half bathroom

This is the outside

Yes it is true! Kyle and I are now officially home owners! It is crazy how fast it has come! Here are some pictures that I took to post. I am in love with this house. It is a great starter home for us! ENJOY!

Thoughts anyone??

Here is were we are going to put our entertainment center. Against the small left wall.

This is the rest of the living room

This is the entrance. That is the corner that I have no idea what to do with.


Okay so Kyle and I have been having discussions on this awkward looking living room. There is this corner that is hard for us to know what to do. At this point we have a brown leather love seat and a brown leather couch. I would like some ideas of the possibilities of where and what we can do to place things in here. Leave a message and let me know if you have any ideas! Thanks! We are excited we will be getting our keys this next Wednesday! YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DID THE UNTHINKABLE!!!

Me, Nerelly and Brian our Tandem Master.

After the jump! I seriously had perma-grin!

Before the jump! Oh man!

Before the jump!

What are we getting ourselves into!!! LOL

Today was one of those pivotal days in my life that I will never forget. It is really hard to put into words how I feel and what went on so I will do my best.

Today I took the things that have been holding me back in my life Judgement; for myself and the judgment I feel from others, the things that happened in my past and I let them go in a way that was so risky and so big that I could not ever go back. YES I DID IT! I went sky diving today. In my X-trainer class I wrote these things that are holding me back on a rock and I took it up in the air plane with me. Then when it was time to jump I let it go. I want to explain that I was nervous and this was a huge risk for me but I prayed and felt peace and surprisingly no fear for the things I was going to do. I knew that for me to let these huge things in my life go I wanted to do something BIG. SO big and out there that there was no way that I would keep these things in my life. It was really one of the most amazing experiences in my life. I physically feel like I can breathe a better and I am lighter now because I let those things go. It was worth every bit of the risk to me to let those things go because of what they were doing to me. For to long I have held onto the past and the things that being molested did to me. For to long I have lived my life and held back because of the fear of judgement. I AM DONE!!!!! I am honestly say I will not longer let those things lead my life. I can honestly say that I and and will do anything that I put my mind to.

So I want to write out what happened step by step today just for me so you don't have to read this next part. We drove to Tooele today and on the ride there I was surprisingly calm and excited. I told myself the whole way there that I am just going to step into it with power and I am going to leave all this behind me. I am going to be a new me! We got there and we watched a movie on sky diving and listened to instructions. The whole time I was 100% present and I found that doing that there was no fear in me. I soaked every minute of the day in and lived all the excitement to the build up. Everything around me was so clear it was like I was really finally alive. We got all dressed and suited up and all I can say is I felt excitement. The hardest and most scary part of my day was actually stepping on the plane and deciding I will do this. As I was stepping on the plane for about 2 seconds I let the fear come and I felt it and then I tapped back into being 100% present and breathing and listening to the sound around me and looking at the beautiful earth below me. It was the most amazing feeling I have ever felt. I actually have been more scared in line and riding a roller coaster than I was doing this. As we were going up in the plane I was focusing on what I was letting go and all the ways that it was holding me back. I know in order for me to let it go I wanted to get angry to the point that I did not want it anymore. That is exactly what I did. Once I jumped the free fall was amazing! Honestly all I could focus on was breathing. They teach you to clamp your teeth closed and breath through your mouth. That is all I did for the 5 mins or so of free falling. After he deployed the chute then that it what I wish would have lasted forever! It was so amazing just soaking all the fresh air and the beautiful mountains and the amazing feeling it was to fly. It was a feeling that I cannot even describe in words. We did turns and swirls and when we landed it was so amazing. I did not want it to end. I am so glad I did it and I would do it again!

My new affirmation : I am a painted wild mustang; NO FEAR! NO FENCES! NO REINS!

My goal : I am so influential that people come to me, asking me how they get what I have. 30 lives changed this month!

These are the videos taken from my camera. I forgot to tell the guy using my camera how to use it. But the first video the guy in the brown is my tandem guide. LOL he is telling me that I cannot grab onto the handle. He knew I would hang on to long LOL. The second one is me jumping.

IT'S HAPPENING!!!!

So I just wanted to announce that we found out yesterday that we got our loan for our home!! I am so so so so excited I can't stand it! So we are 2 -3 weeks away from being in our first home!! It has been interesting that over the last few months as I have been praying to know this is the right place I have just had the most peaceful feelings. I am so excited after this 10th move in 5 years to finally be rooted somewhere and not leave for years. I am feeling so great and I am excited for what this new place will bring to our family. I am going next week to see the inspection and I am taking some pictures to post up for everyone. I just thought I would share this exciting news with you all!!!!!!!!!!

I SOAR WITH THE GODS!

Yesterday was a memorable day for me in so many ways. I attended my class which this week was at a Ropes course. If you don't know what a ropes course is you can go to http://www.clasropes.com/provo.html to check it out. Basically it can be summed in three parts: initiative games, low elements, and high course elements. Initiative games are problem-solving activities (on the ground) that require brainstorming and teamwork. Low course elements (0-4' high) are a little more physically challenging, but they also require cooperation, communication, and trust. High course activities are basically high adventure activities. They all require safety ropes and gear (it's provided) and range from 25'-40' off the ground.

So with the group I am taking the class with we spent all day doing these activities that stretched us and pushed us to do things that we would not normally do. It was so amazing what it brought out in people. I have become so close to all of these people since June as we have met in our class every week. I have never seen in them what I saw yesterday. Yesterday I truly saw that all of us as human beings are capable of what we think to be impossible.

Yesterday while participating at this ropes course I found a little more of my authentic self. I decided that the day was going to be all about me. Everything that I did was going to be for me. I did not care what anyone else thought I was going to do everything on the course and do it in the way I wanted, to prove to myself I am POWERFUL. It was a big day for me because my whole life I have lived for others. I have sacrificed so many things in my life to help others to "protect" others and the saddest thing that I have sacrificed more than anything is me. I have sacrificed myself to the point that I destroyed a part of me. I learned 2 things yesterday about this. 1) The most important person to take care of is me. 2) When I take care of myself first and fill my bucket I can honestly help and give so much more! Its amazing!

The next "ah ha" moment for me was when I came to the challenge of getting over a 15-20 ft wall with nothing to support but me and the people around me and a few jackets tied together. We did not have a very big group so it was a really hard thing to get over. I have always had issues with my body image. That is really the big reason why this wall is so scary for me is because I have to allow others to lift me and that in and of itself is so uncomfortable. I HATE IT! But yesterday as we approached the wall we were asked "What are the walls in your life?" "What are the walls that seem so big and impossible to get over?" My answer was me. I have been the one all these years holding myself back from doing the things that serve me the most. SO I stepped up to the wall saying I will get over and conquer myself and all the ways I hold myself back. So we got a few people over and it became my turn to get over. The first big thing in that was that I asked for it to be my turn. Normally I would wait and support as many people as I could and I would go right when I felt so uncomfortable that I might not be able to get over the wall. So taking the opportunity to go over when I wanted to and when I felt the more support felt so GOOD! The other thing I learned in this exercise happened while I was getting ready to take that first step up onto the people waiting to help me up. Honestly the fear of that first step and the fact that this was me deciding to conquer and break down my wall, me holding myself back was so scary that I started to have a small panic attack and I started to cry. Everyone there was talking at once, giving me encouragement but all of the sudden in all the voices I heard one voice say to me "step into it with power" and I went. I was already up it before I was physically up because I took that first step and stepped into it with power and determination to get over. There have been so many times in my life that I have been too scared to take that first step and I have missed out on so many growing experiences and so many ways that I could have taken care of me better. From now on when I am scared I will literally wherever I am I will say in my head or out loud "step into it with power" and take a step forward. Then I will do whatever I was scared to do because I learned the end is much greater if you will just take that 1st step and go.

The next thing I learned yesterday was that I am an amazing leader. Yesterday when I let my authentic self come out and I was not holding myself back I stepped up and really helped bring some things together for our group and was key in helping to accomplish some really hard things. I have everything in me to be a leader I have always just held myself back. That will be no more. I have learned to let those strengths shine! I am amazing and I own that!

Last of all and most important the title of this post and my new belief. The negative belief that I worked on last week was a huge one! It affected every single area of my life. I could list so many things that have been affected by this. The old belief was that I am not enough. I went through my process and worked out every part of it and then I replaced it with I am so amazing that I SOAR WITH THE GODS! This has been one of the most powerful new beliefs for me. Anytime I feel less I say my new belief and it is an instant state change for me. I am not all the way there yet but I seen huge changes in me since I am now owning that I SOAR WITH THE GODS! I can honestly say in almost every part of my life I know I am enough and that Heavenly Father believes that about me also.

Things I know about myself

I am strong physically, emotionally and mentally

I am powerful beyond anything I have ever dreamed

I have great ideas and I am a really great leader

I am majestically memorable!I AM IN CONTROL!

I soar with the gods!
I am beautiful inside and out
For the first time yesterday I looked in the mirror and loved every bit of me! I have never really seen myself as a gorgeous individual but now I know I am gorgeous!

I can finally acknowledge that what happened to me when I was little was not okay and really horrific (I have always down played it). But I am powerful beyond measure because I chose and I am choosing to take that experience and make myself strong!

Since I have started working with this company I have been able to help many people that are very important in my life. The other night as I met with a wonderful friend of mine and we talked about the things that I have been dealing with she said to me “I always thought your life was perfect and that is why you are so amazing. Now that I know what you have been through I have hope for myself that I can do the same." THIS MAKES WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WORTH IT! This is why I believe I was supposed to go through that.

Majestically Memorable

So some of you have asked about my tiara that I was wearing in a picture in my last post and now I am ready to share. Like I have said before I am in the process of taking a class called Power 90. This class is helping me pin point negative beliefs I have about myself and change them. It has been very life changing for me because there are beliefs that I have been holding onto that I did not even know were affecting me so very much. One of the big ones that recently worked through was I am forgotten. This was really affecting how I was as a mom and a wife and it showed up in many friendships and other relationships I have had. So after going through the process and tracking and figuring out many parts of this belief I replaced the negative one with I am majestically memorable.

After talking with one of the facilitators of the Outlook class and talking to them about this new belief they challenged me to wear this tiara for a whole week everywhere I go. It was so hard at first! I wore it to church and to a budget meeting, and to the store. I got tons of interesting reactions. If anyone asked me why I was wearing it I told them "it's because I am majestic and memorable." I have to say that by the end of the week after doing this and writing down the proof that I am memorable that negative belief I have always known was gone!! It has really changed my life especially in the mom category. It is amazing the things I am finding about myself as I go through this process of changing my beliefs. I feel so in control of my life and where I want to go and what I want out of life. I actually feel like I have to choice. I have the tools to change any outcome that I don't like about myself simply by using this process and tools I have learned.

Kyle and I have both taken these classes and I can honestly say that life has never been better for us. We still have our ups and downs but now we know what to do when those downs come. IT IS SO POWERFUL!

NOW I KNOW THAT I AM MAJESTICALLY MEMORABLE!

HE DID IT!

Kaden and I getting ready for the big movie. For all those who may be wondering why I am wearing that awesome Tiara... It is a momentum given to me in the class I have been taking to help me get rid of a really strong negative belief I have/had about myself. If you want to know more just ask. ;)

Today was a day to remember! Many of you know that Kaden has been wearing underwear night and day for about a month now. He has been wearing it just during the day for about 3 to 4 months. So finally today he was brave a pooped in the potty!! We have been trying for months to help him do this and it has been a painful process. We have been promising him that if he poops in the potty we will take him to Toy Story 3 the big movie. Today all of the sudden I heard Kaden from the bathroom saying "Mom I'm doing it" I ran in and saw him actually going on the toilet. The look on his face was priceless. He was so proud that he had actually done it and that I was screaming for joy! All in all this was a monumental day in our house. Who knew a child finally pooping in the potty could be such an exciting and relieving thing for a parent. LOL

Our future home??

This is what the front looks like. There is grass and everything now. Oh and this is a townhouse. So the parts to the far right would not be part of our house.

This is a really poor picture of the front room. The wood part over in the left corner is where the front door is. Down stairs is a unfinished basement.

This is the master bedroom. It has a walk in closet which I never dreamed I would have so I am really excited about that.

Kyle and I both LOVE that we each have our own sink. In all the apartments that we have lived in our bathroom was always so small non of them could really fit both of is comfortably.

This is the beautiful kitchen. I love the dark wood.

This is the dinning area. I love the big windows

So here is the house that we are under contract with now. We are really just now coming out and telling people that we are moving. Here are the pictures that I saved from when they had the place up for sale. This is not our exact place but this is what it will look like. Let me know what you all think!

A NEW ERA

My family and the outlook facilitators. :)

This weekend one of the greatest weekends of my life. Almost everyone in my family was able to go to The Power of Choice weekend for Outlook. I was a mentor for the weekend and I talked my dad to bringing the family and I talked Kyle and Kristine into coming also. It was so amazing sit back and watch this program work for individuals in my family. It was so interesting because most of my family members went kicking and screaming. My Mom,Preston and Kyle especially. I knew they were not happy about being there but they did it because it was so important to me. :) About half way through the first day things started to change and my mom and siblings were making comments and really started to get into the class. As they applied the things that were talked about they really started to see the difference and the power of this class. I have to say by the second day I was just BEAMING in excitement for the things that they felt and the things they had found that needed to be changed so they could be the people God intended. By Saturday they were all different people. All I heard was gratitude for the things that they learned and for the class and the things it has brought into their lives.

On Sunday my family all gathered together and talked about this being a New Ear in all our lives. A time to get back to the basics. Getting back to family and the gospel and learning who we really are and our purpose here on earth. Life is truly a gift. Before you know it your time could be up. So why not live life with PASSION and with no regrets now instead of waiting for the "right time". I want to say thanks to all my family and especially to Kyle for stretching themselves, and for bringing me pure joy this weekend. LOVE YOU GUYS!

The GURU

This last 2 weeks have been so amazing! First some good news Kyle and I have decided to buy a house. We have found a place in Eagle Mountain and we are set to close on Sept 17 if all goes as planned. We are really excited about this and we both feel that it is time to have a place of our own. I will post pictures as soon as I get some good ones.

For those of you who don't know I have been taking this class called the power 90. If you want to know more about it you can ask but for now that is all I will say. So I went to this my regular Wednesday class this last week and really learned some amazing things that really clicked for me. We talked a lot about that voice inside our head constatly telling us things. Telling us we can do things, telling us we cannot, telling us we are a disappointment, a failure ect... I have had a really big problem with this in the past. The negative self talk is so destructive I don't think we even realize what we are doing to ourselves. So this week we talked about tapping into our GURU. Our Guru is that side of us that finds solutions and makes choices. The Guru is all knowing and can get through anything that is thrown at her/him. The Guru takes accountability for the actions taken and does not make excuses about mistakes but learns from them.

This week I have decided that it is time to get rid of that goober in my head with all the negative and degrading things that come with that. I am now the guru of my own self. I know I have all the answers, they are in me. Nothing that has happened or will happen to me is to hard for me to get through. I no longer feel so overwhelmed about things. I physically and emotionally feel empowered! It is the most amazing feeling that I have had in a long time. I am learning about myself and the power I have in me. I am for the first time truly loving myself and I see myself as a powerful, loving, and memorable person. Life is wonderful and I am going to start really living NOW!

5 YEARS!!

Tournament of Kings

We were France at the tournament

the Garden

BEAUTIFUL!

There were so many cool things like this from made out of flowers! I love it!!!

FUN!!

This is something that I saw and wanted to paint!

I took this cool picture of kyle. There were little fountains that would spray like this all over.

This was one of my favorite ones.

REAL chocolate fountain! WOW!

LOVED IT

A real gummy bear! Who would eat all that? and how long would it take?

This is made out of jelly beans! AWESOME

Having fun at the Coke Factory

Kyle made me laugh right as he was taking the picture. But this is one of his favorite pictures

I love this picture of Kyle. This is his favorite M&M

The most AMAZING brownie I have ever had!! It took me 3 days to finish it. lol

Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay

Having fun waiting for the shuttle to the strip

Having fun waiting for the shuttle to the strip

Kyle and I just celebrated our 5 year anniversary and it was fabulous!! WE had a free 4 day 3 night stay in Vegas. We had to sit through a presentation but we did not mind that because we got discount tickets to a show and $250. It was so nice to have some time together just Kyle and I without the distractions we have at home. We enjoyed ourselves and got to go to Tournament of Kings at the Excaibur. We have always wanted to see that show. It was so much fun. I did have a really bad allergic reaction to the horses and so I had to leave before it was over but it was still fun. We also were able to go to the Titanic exhibit which I thoroughly enjoyed. We also went to Mandalay bay and a beautiful garden in the Bilagio hotel. Funny thing is that the garden was prob my absolute favorite thing because I felt like a kid again. I took tons of pictures that I plan on painting with Julia sometime soon.

Anyways I just wanted to say that I am so very grateful for the wonderful man Kyle is. We are a perfect match for each other in so many ways. I am so glad that he is always making me laugh (even when I am mad). It had always been important to me to laugh every day of my life and he is definitely making sure that happens. I love that he tells me everyday that I am beautiful and that he loves me. I am so grateful for how fiercely loyal Kyle is, he has always made it so clear as day that he would never leave or do anything to hurt me that way. That has brought so much comfort and peace of mind to me to know that. Again I am always amazed at the wonderful father he is to our 2 boys. He understands the big picture of building trust and friendship with them now so when they are older they will look to him as their example of what a man should be. He is an amazing provider and always has a concern for the needs of our family. I love him with all of my heart. I can truly say that I am grateful for all the trials that we have been though. We are so much stronger now than we ever have been. Thanks hunny for the best 5 years of my life and I am looking forward to the things to come