I SOAR WITH THE GODS!

Yesterday was a memorable day for me in so many ways. I attended my class which this week was at a Ropes course. If you don't know what a ropes course is you can go to http://www.clasropes.com/provo.html to check it out. Basically it can be summed in three parts: initiative games, low elements, and high course elements. Initiative games are problem-solving activities (on the ground) that require brainstorming and teamwork. Low course elements (0-4' high) are a little more physically challenging, but they also require cooperation, communication, and trust. High course activities are basically high adventure activities. They all require safety ropes and gear (it's provided) and range from 25'-40' off the ground.

So with the group I am taking the class with we spent all day doing these activities that stretched us and pushed us to do things that we would not normally do. It was so amazing what it brought out in people. I have become so close to all of these people since June as we have met in our class every week. I have never seen in them what I saw yesterday. Yesterday I truly saw that all of us as human beings are capable of what we think to be impossible.

Yesterday while participating at this ropes course I found a little more of my authentic self. I decided that the day was going to be all about me. Everything that I did was going to be for me. I did not care what anyone else thought I was going to do everything on the course and do it in the way I wanted, to prove to myself I am POWERFUL. It was a big day for me because my whole life I have lived for others. I have sacrificed so many things in my life to help others to "protect" others and the saddest thing that I have sacrificed more than anything is me. I have sacrificed myself to the point that I destroyed a part of me. I learned 2 things yesterday about this. 1) The most important person to take care of is me. 2) When I take care of myself first and fill my bucket I can honestly help and give so much more! Its amazing!

The next "ah ha" moment for me was when I came to the challenge of getting over a 15-20 ft wall with nothing to support but me and the people around me and a few jackets tied together. We did not have a very big group so it was a really hard thing to get over. I have always had issues with my body image. That is really the big reason why this wall is so scary for me is because I have to allow others to lift me and that in and of itself is so uncomfortable. I HATE IT! But yesterday as we approached the wall we were asked "What are the walls in your life?" "What are the walls that seem so big and impossible to get over?" My answer was me. I have been the one all these years holding myself back from doing the things that serve me the most. SO I stepped up to the wall saying I will get over and conquer myself and all the ways I hold myself back. So we got a few people over and it became my turn to get over. The first big thing in that was that I asked for it to be my turn. Normally I would wait and support as many people as I could and I would go right when I felt so uncomfortable that I might not be able to get over the wall. So taking the opportunity to go over when I wanted to and when I felt the more support felt so GOOD! The other thing I learned in this exercise happened while I was getting ready to take that first step up onto the people waiting to help me up. Honestly the fear of that first step and the fact that this was me deciding to conquer and break down my wall, me holding myself back was so scary that I started to have a small panic attack and I started to cry. Everyone there was talking at once, giving me encouragement but all of the sudden in all the voices I heard one voice say to me "step into it with power" and I went. I was already up it before I was physically up because I took that first step and stepped into it with power and determination to get over. There have been so many times in my life that I have been too scared to take that first step and I have missed out on so many growing experiences and so many ways that I could have taken care of me better. From now on when I am scared I will literally wherever I am I will say in my head or out loud "step into it with power" and take a step forward. Then I will do whatever I was scared to do because I learned the end is much greater if you will just take that 1st step and go.

The next thing I learned yesterday was that I am an amazing leader. Yesterday when I let my authentic self come out and I was not holding myself back I stepped up and really helped bring some things together for our group and was key in helping to accomplish some really hard things. I have everything in me to be a leader I have always just held myself back. That will be no more. I have learned to let those strengths shine! I am amazing and I own that!

Last of all and most important the title of this post and my new belief. The negative belief that I worked on last week was a huge one! It affected every single area of my life. I could list so many things that have been affected by this. The old belief was that I am not enough. I went through my process and worked out every part of it and then I replaced it with I am so amazing that I SOAR WITH THE GODS! This has been one of the most powerful new beliefs for me. Anytime I feel less I say my new belief and it is an instant state change for me. I am not all the way there yet but I seen huge changes in me since I am now owning that I SOAR WITH THE GODS! I can honestly say in almost every part of my life I know I am enough and that Heavenly Father believes that about me also.

Things I know about myself

I am strong physically, emotionally and mentally

I am powerful beyond anything I have ever dreamed

I have great ideas and I am a really great leader

I am majestically memorable!I AM IN CONTROL!

I soar with the gods!
I am beautiful inside and out
For the first time yesterday I looked in the mirror and loved every bit of me! I have never really seen myself as a gorgeous individual but now I know I am gorgeous!

I can finally acknowledge that what happened to me when I was little was not okay and really horrific (I have always down played it). But I am powerful beyond measure because I chose and I am choosing to take that experience and make myself strong!

Since I have started working with this company I have been able to help many people that are very important in my life. The other night as I met with a wonderful friend of mine and we talked about the things that I have been dealing with she said to me “I always thought your life was perfect and that is why you are so amazing. Now that I know what you have been through I have hope for myself that I can do the same." THIS MAKES WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WORTH IT! This is why I believe I was supposed to go through that.