What a weekend...

Wow! I am so amazed at what 3 days can do to change my whole mind frame. This Power of Choice class is something that I have been waiting for and looking for my whole life. The things that I learned have changed the way I think, the things I say, and the most amazing how I feel about myself. It was such a cleansing weekend for me. I have been trying to work through all the feelings of powerlessness, loss of control emotionally. I really had no idea how to get past everything that I needed to be the real me. I had some amazing help and I met some of the most inspiring amazing women that are perfect in so many ways. It was a group of about 25 people and by the end of the three days I honestly could say that I care about each persons success. As human beings I believe when we open ourselves up to our insecurities and our weaknesses there is something so powerful about how you see a person. I was in awe of the greatness that I felt coming from these wonderful people. I could see it but the funny thing was they saw themselves just like I saw myself. By the Saturday I am telling you peoples countenance were different and they way they were starting to see themselves was just how God intended us to see ourselves. The biggest light bulb experience I had was the first night. That was the hardest for me as I searched within myself to find what the abuse when I was younger had caused me to believe. It felt so good to have a safe place to let everything out and to just finally let myself break down and cry. It was an amazing release for me. After the first night things became so much more clear. I had a wonderful friend named Dawn that really stepped me through each thing and why it was so important for me. There were some really profound things that she said that I would really like to share. "You cannot be depressed when you are present". I learned the importance of not dwelling on the past or being so worried about the future. It was amazing to me how much of me was so wrapped up in the past and future. I cannot believe how much energy I have wasted on it. It was so wonderful to come home after the fist night and actually be 100% present when I hugged my boys. Not a thing on my mind but just loving and hugging them. IT WAS SO POWERFUL. Almost scary sometimes how much love we have invested in our little ones.

The next amazingly simple thing that I learned about myself is that I have all the answers. Everything that I need in this life to get through is in me. I have all the answers sometimes I need a little help finding them and pulling them out either from those around me or from help above. That was so empowering for me. I have it all and I have no doubt that I am perfectly perfect the way that I am and everything is perfectly perfect the way it is. This does not mean that I don't want to change anything but in this very moment everything is perfect for me. I have done the best I can and that is all I can do. The only control I have over circumstances is how I react. Really it was such a great weekend for me full of many light bulb moments.

This is one of my favorite quotes of the weekend and I have read this before but it has never hit me like it did this weekend. I hope all those who are reading this know that we are all meant for greatness. There are things that we have promised we would do here on earth that only we can do. Times are getting harder and we are not meant to just "play small". There are great things that we can all do to change the world and make it better one person at a time. For some it might be a smile or talking to someone that you normally wouldn't. For me I am starting with me. I am starting to love myself and see myself for the greatness that is in me. I will do great things in this life and I will make a difference one person at a time. I love my life and I look forward to living in the present. :)

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."